Children’s Zoos Are for Children 

What possesses people of a certain age to wake up and go, “You know what, let’s go to the children’s zoo today!” I would like nothing better than hanging out with a bunch of kids all day. Maybe we can go to Chuck E. Cheese for pizza afterwards!
Technically, yes, you’re permitted to go, and the zoo is happy to take your money.

However, unless you’re Adrian Balboa, why are you there?

Better yet, why do the people who go to the zoo forget it is really intended for kids?
Too frequently, these teenagers, young adults, or just out and out old people have no issue pushing ahead of children to see the penguins, or my favorite reaching past a child to prevent them from feeding the birds. 

  
It’s cute and fun for a toddler to get the bird on a stick. You’re an adult – you need more in your life if you’re either trying to catch the bird a toddler is trying to get, or you’re excited to catch the bird. I mean it’s food on a stick. You’re not exactly baiting and trapping an animal – you know, a real accomplishment. 

Also, please explain to me why you feel the need to smoke everywhere. First off, you know it’s not permitted. The laws prevent it. Furthermore, the signs are present telling you you’re not allowed. Simply put, if you’re smoking in a children’s zoo, you’re an awful human being. 

Look, I don’t bring my son to nice restaurants like Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse because he doesn’t belong there. As well behaved a child as he is, he’s still a toddler that is prone to acting up, which is similar to how you act looking in the aquarium making Finding Nemo and Finding Dory jokes:  

  
He doesn’t belong there. That’s why I don’t bring him there. 

It’s part of the societal contract. I don’t bring my son to adult places where he doesn’t belong. The reciprocation is supposed to be you not being an idiot hanging out at a children’s zoo, forcing your way to the front to see the animals, not paying attention to the kids running around, and even taking a ride on the train. 

  
Overall, there’s just something wrong with you if you’re idea of fun is hanging out in a children’s zoo. Regardless of whether or not you’re on some kind of registry, you know you shouldn’t be hanging out at children’s places. Don’t go to them. 
In turn, I will continue to not bring my son to nice restaurants and bars. 

Next time you feel the urge to hang out with a bunch of little kids, just go ice skating.