For the second straight year, we had a last minute cancellation for my son’s birthday party. It’s quite understandable as life gets in the way. Children and parents get sick. People unexpectedly drop by, and there are family emergencies that need attention. 

Someone could just plum forget. It happens. 

The issue is what should you do when you have to miss a birthday party. 

Now, there are two different scenarios for this. The first is you’ve RSVP’s no to the party. In those instances, you can do whatever you want.

On a personal note, we treat each instance differently. If those kids have gone to my son’s party in the past, we’ll return the favor. They spent on a nice gift, and we’ll do the same. 

If they’ve never gone to a party for our son, depending on how close a friend the kid is, we may give a small gift like a busy book or nothing at all. 

The other scenario is where you’ve replied yes, but for whatever the case may be, you couldn’t make it to the party. 

What I’ve found to be odd is that in both situations, the late cancellation did not provide a birthday present. 

My presumption was that a gift is owed, and I’m not sure why people would feel otherwise. 

At that point, the parents have already undertaken the expense of your child’s attendance. This includes cost of the child to attend the event as well as the cost for the goodie bag. There are other minor factors as well such as ordering pizza, cake, cupcakes, etc. 

Bottom line is there was an expense paid upon your representation your child would attend. 

Considering you also likely purchased a gift, you probably should give the gift to the birthday boy or girl. 

Unless there’s some etiquette to the contrary of which I’m not aware, or there are real extenuating circumstances preventing the giving of the gift, giving a gift after a no-show or last minute cancellation should be considered an obligation.