Let’s all gather round and see what Santa left under the Mets Christmas tree:

Jake Arrieta – Mets have enough SP, don’t they?

Jay Bruce – His heart is in San Francisco

Yu Darvish – Not in this lifetime 

Lorenzo Cain – Nope

Bartolo Colon – Rejected 

Howie Kendrick – Nowhere to be seen or heard from

Jonathan Lucroy – Mets already have Lobaton

Todd Frazier – In Toms River 

Curtis Granderson – Can’t be naughty and expect to get someone so nice 

Austin Jackson – Would need to trade Lagares and about 10 more people 

Jason Kipnis – Hot In Cleveland

J.D. Martinez – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

Mike Napoli – Somewhere over Minneapolis

Eduardo Nunez – Probably too broken . . . even for the Mets

Addison Reed – Not home for the holidays 

Neil Walker – Doesn’t want to come back 

Really, there’s nothing there except for what I really hope is a piece of coal.