Every Reason Why Paw Patrol Is Terrible

Paw Patrol is the worst, and I mean the absolute worst, children’s show I have been subjected to by my son.  Having watched it over and over again, the show gets worse and worse.  Then I noticed some serious issues with the show.  They mostly surround Ryder.

For those uninitiated, Paw Patrol, is a show where a boy named Ryder leads a bunch of pups to solve the problems that arise in Adventure Bay.  The issues usually arise over something wrong with Mayor Goodway, who is the most incompetent cartoon mayor this side of Diamond Joe Quimby, or Cap’n Turbot, who is a sea captain that I’m surprised hasn’t drowned while taking a bath.

Whenever an issue arises, these adults contact a young boy named, Ryder.  Yup, a person who is supposed to be in charge of an entire city has to contact a little boy to help her solve her problems.  Those problems usually involve her pet chicken because what other issue would the mayor have than handling her pet chicken?

Ryder accepts the call on his pup-pad, says he will offer assistance, and offers the reassuring motto of “No job is too big, no pup is too small.”  Ryder, then using the same pup pad summons his pups.  The pups receive the alert straight through their collar, which presumably means Ryder equips each of his pups with a shock collar so they can be summoned at his will.

The pups then run to this tower called the Lookout.  Somehow, someway midway up the elevator to the top of the Lookout, the pups are zapped into clothing with their preordained jobs from Ryder.  Mind you, this counts the second time the pups are zapped.

Once there, the pups have to go through Ryder’s artist rendition of the current situation.  Keep in mind, there is an emergency, but Ryder thought there was time for him to make a fun little cartoon first to show everyone before they go and solve the problem.  Ryder then selects two or sometimes three pups to join him.  The rest just sit there until everyone returns.

There is so much wrong here.  First, this boy has the technology to build a technologically superior tower that would make Elon Musk blush, and he has the ability to not only communicate with dogs, but the ability to have them bend to his will.  Do we seriously believe he does not have the capability to summoning the exact number of pups he needs?  Does he not do that because he’s too busy with his arts and crafts project?  Or perhaps, this is a just the work of a twisted little boy, who fits pups with shock collars, who loves having these pups bend to his every will and demand.

His team of pups is as follows:

  • Chase – a police pup who mostly is there to throw a net to catch someone when Ryder’s instructions go horribly wrong
  • Marshall – a clumsy fire dog who really is mostly there to provide a ladder
  • Rubble – a construction dog who pushes stuff around with a bulldozer
  • Rocky – a recycling pup who in reality is just a few years away from being on one of those hoarding reality shows
  • Skye – the lone female who flies in the sky and really does most of the work
  • Zuma – a water rescue dog, whatever that means, who is basically told to get deep sea diving to fetch something underwater

Oh, on top of that there are two other dogs named Everest and Tracker.  It is not of much importance that they don’t belong to Ryder.  What really matters is that for some reason, Ryder gets to fit them with a shock collar as well so he can summon them too at his beck and call.  Considering how he abuses these dogs, I’m almost afraid to ask where Ryder’s parents are or what happened to them.  Although part of me does wonder if he made them “yelp for help.”

Anyway once Ryder chooses the pups that get to come with him, they got down a slide into their dog house which turns into the corresponding vehicle.  Basically, these dog houses are a rip-off of Transformers.

Now, for the bigger jobs, Ryder will use more dogs, but that means he’s going to have to take them all in his not so cleverly named Paw Patroller.  Everything is able to fit in there, and it is driven by his robotic dog.  That’s right, in addition to building a state of the art tower, and vehicles, Ryder has built a mechanical dog capable of driving something larger than a semi.

And all of this is basically to save a chicken getting stuck on a roof, or repairing something using the garbage Rocky found on the side of the road.

If this child is really the genius the show purports him to be, why is he using his talents in this manner?  Shouldn’t he be off making inventions for the betterment of man kind?  A person this brilliant should be discovering how to cure cancer or how to end world hunger.  No, he decides to become the de facto lord of Adventure Bay.

In the process, he has completely eliminated the need for Adventure Bay to have a police force, fire department, construction workers, or any other of a series of union jobs.  Ryder has used his technology to force people out of jobs and presumably move out of an expensive area like Adventure Bay.  It’s of little doubt why there’s only like 10 people left who live in the entire town.  Presumably, most moved away due to jobs or to escape this unpredictable sociopath.  Seriously, why else wouldn’t people want to live in a town that is clean, has terrific weather, and has talking dogs?

So, in the end, Paw Patrol is a show about a disturbed little boy who intimidates both man and animals alike.  At its core, this is a very dark and disturbing show that no one should be subjected to.

51 Replies to “Every Reason Why Paw Patrol Is Terrible”

  1. Jamie no Ed no Jalen no I'm you says:

    My insults are unoriginal.

    1. Boris says:

      My kid hassles me to watch Paw patrol non stop. I fucking hate it. Even the sound of it makes me want to stab my ears with knitting needles. The constant sound of the Dalmatian slipping over and going wooooaaaaaaaaooaoaoaoaoooah, the shrill retarded mayor (and her stupid chicken) the repetition of stupid catch phrases, it‘s enough time make me want to throw a brick through my tv. Matter of fact, I’m putting my foot down. I’m turning it off and We’re going to go read a book instead. EFF PAW PATROL!!

      1. Joe says:

        PAW PATROL IS ONLY FOR THE BRAND THE GET THE HELPLESS PARENTS TO BUY THE STUPID PAW PATROL PRODUCTS ITS STUPID .on the other hand spongebob is better because they dont go cheap and only use pc to make their cartoon they have lost some ideas but they are still a respectable cartoon.BUT PAW PATROL REALLY YOUVE LOST YOUR IDEAS AND YOUR PC DATA AND YOURE MINDS

    2. shakoya says:

      paw patrol is not a bad show i think its great

      1. Anonymous says:

        No, it’s the worst show and you should hate it’s all stupid and so dumb its garbage. my brother (who’s 6) loves the stupid show and he is torturing me with that show which is totally shit.

      2. Sara says:

        Yes I do to AND THE PUPS ARE NOT ZAPPED. they are only getting a small beep to tell them to the lookout. and you parents are acting like children. That show has nothing wrong with it

        1. metsdaddy says:

          The show has many, many things wrong with it.

        2. Nojomi says:

          Amen!

      3. Anonymous says:

        Litterally theres so many problems my little brother used to love it a few months ago and i told him it has no information it does not tell you any lessons its just a random show even worse than bob the builder or peppa pig because bob the builder and peppa pig at least give you information and tell you lesson s plus paw patrol is bassically this thing with no sense at all and should already be removed because of copyright laws

    3. Quintavious Cohen says:

      I do no see why you hate the show and all the accusations you made are all from your point of view paw portal teaches children to not give up when problems may seem tough and there is always a way to make things right. You and other people are just making the show seem bad. I personally encourage my son and nephew to watch the show. I think that the show is a good influence on kids. Maybe you just need to look at the bright side of things instead of looking for the worst.

      1. metsdaddy says:

        It’s a bad show with suspect messaging.

    4. Corin Elkin says:

      Who made this they are so not getting the point like who hurt you as a kid you do realize that the kids like it And it is like taking your kids from you should you like that to all your kids do you love your kids and you are worrying about the wrong things we are in a safety crises and you are overreacting because of a kids show what about the kids that get sick what do they do in the hospital or at home watch tv you all are actually doing the opposite of what you need to be doing what about prisoners they have family’s they have kids you all are worried about a kids A KIDS tv show when people living people are in jail sick and dying that is sad but you have went to a new low I am a teen and I probably stand by my message

      1. metsdaddy says:

        Well, I’d first note this article was written well before the pandemic and recent wave of protests.

        Second, I’d note your point is nonsense as people have the ability to care and make light of multiple things at the same time.

        Seriously, learn to take a joke.

    5. asdft says:

      all of you who think paw patrol is stupid is stupid

  2. rachael kennedy says:

    LOL pretty much and also why does he need to call the pups for every “emergency” I mean one time they needed to get turtles like literally 2 meters from the sand to the ocean where he as standing .. he could have just picked them up and walked 5 steps and put them in the water or guided them with a stick .. but NO hr had to call the paw patrol from ACROSS TOWN to come help and they still couldnt ……… and why does the only girl (at the time skye) have to be pink and have pink girly things ? not all girls like pink

    1. metsdaddy says:

      The answer to all questions Paw Patrol is Ryder is a sociopath who needs control.

  3. Lars Schou says:

    hello you just because you hate paw patrol does not mean you should destroy it for those who like paw patrol like me well your huge idiot

    1. metsdaddy says:

      How old are you?

  4. Kim says:

    1) it’s a kids show it’s not ment to solve the worlds problems it’s ment to entertain small children

    2) if you don’t like it don’t watch it

    My son loves it and will watch it in reprat for hours if I let him he thinks marshal is funny he likes chase because he’s a cop he likes sky because she flies and he likes Everest because she lives in the snow he loves all the pups for separate reasons he is to young to care about controversial things like why is sky wearing only pink the show also shows that teamwork is important and that you can’t always be the one to save the day but that doesn’t make you any less if part of the team it may seem like a stupid lesson or a stupid show but there are also worse shows out there bottom line if you don’t like it then don’t watch it and if you don’t want your kid watching it then don’t let them watch it they may throw a fit but who is the parent you or them

    1. metsdaddy says:

      Wow, you really put me in my place.

      Quick question though.

      If you are going to say, “if you don’t like it then don’t watch it” why would you read something you don’t like and feel the need to chime in?

      Mostly, I want to convey to you that you need a sense of humor and stop taking everything so seriously.

      1. Finn says:

        Hmm, well considering no one has time to honestly comment or care about this thread is sad. It’s a kid show that in reality has nothing to do with real life. No talking dog is going to save you, nor is a kid going to deal out some justice. It’s meant for entertainment purposes and not to be taken seriously.

        1. metsdaddy says:

          You just commented

        2. dylan says:

          my kid watches it every day for the whole entire day. if I turn it off he throws a fit then they make a bunch of veichalesjust to make the parents buy the kids toys

      2. Malcolm says:

        “Why would you read something you dont like and feel the need to chime in?”

        That is a hypocritical statement.

        This is a failed attempt in steering the point of her comment into another direction by ignoring the general message and fishing for bits you can use to exploit on this maneuver.

        1rst mistake is you reading her comment of which you “didn’t like and decided to chime in by responding.”
        ?: “Her comment makes valid points”

        2nd mistake is you watching a show you don’t like and taking to the web to complain about it.
        ?If anyone is taking anything serious it’s you because not only are you complaining in detail about a children’s show, but you actually seem to believe that your “OPINION” of which is clearly wrong is right.

        ? If the show truly was bad it would not have gained the popularity it has today, would not be producing a powerful line of toys, and would not have lasted 5 now going on 6 seasons.

        Ps: Paw patrol is Nick Juniors number (1) show with a special. “Mission Paw” that racked in over 4 million views

        1. metsdaddy says:

          How old are you that you are so vehemently defending this show?

          No one over the age of 5 can even tolerate this show.

          My only mistake is even bothering to reply to your comment.

          1. C says:

            Agreed, it IS a kids show, but the writing is just stupid, there are kids shows that try way harder not to be so painfully stupid. But, to say you like it, or to get mad at this guy for pointing out obvious flaws, you must live an interesting life… Most kids are stupid, some people enjoy discussing that. Why you feel the need to try and correct him, either agree and share a laugh, or move on troll

  5. someoneontheinternet says:

    Too many people praise this show like its gold, and it’s really not. I try to say how stupid the show is, but people always tell me “Oh it’s just a kids show, it’s meant to entertain small children, not you.” I know that, but why do all small children’s shows lack plot, originality and memorability? Give me one inspirational moment from Dora the Explorer, or Peppa Pig, or this? That’s right, nothing.

    Not only that, but they reuse the same tired, cliche lessons like how to get rid of hiccups, how to share, how to whistle, how to count to thirty, etc, etc, etc.

    The problem is, most shows in general (not just paw patrol) execute this so poorly, that it gives a bad thought in childrens’ heads, like “if I scream and cry because I didn’t get what I wanted, maybe I’ll get it!”

    I hate preschool/kindergarten children shows, and if anyone can recommend a good one I will show it to my child (when I have one)

    1. metsdaddy says:

      Blaze is a good one for that age group

    2. i very much love pawpatrol

  6. Martin Botha says:

    My 3 year old loves this show so let me get that out of the way.
    But in saying that I am glad to see that I am not the only one who sees the very clear plot holes n the show. And for seeing them and having some fun in analysing them and giving a very entertaining explanation for them I thank you, made my day.

    1. metsdaddy says:

      I truly appreciate you taking the article in the spirit in which it was written.

  7. C says:

    Agreed, it IS a kids show, but the writing is just stupid, there are kids shows that try way harder not to be so painfully stupid. But, to say you like it, or to get mad at this guy for pointing out obvious flaws, you must live an interesting life… Most kids shows are stupid, some people enjoy discussing that. Why you feel the need to try and correct him, either agree and share a laugh, or move on troll

  8. TheMommyEpic says:

    I have a 2 year old and have no choice but to endure Paw Patrol. TBH I much prefer her to watch Disney Juniors Puppy Dog Pals. Granted, Puppy Dog Pals has its share of issues too, but at least it isn’t made by a toy company and at least it’s easier to buy my kid a stuffed Bingo and Rolly than the whole slew of Paw Patrol merch that Spin Master dumps out.

    1. metsdaddy says:

      At least with Puppy Dog Pals, you get geography

  9. Jack Dyer says:

    I know you were attempting to be funny but you weren’t, not even close.

    1. metsdaddy says:

      To each their own

  10. Rob says:

    And don’t get me started on the mayor of Foggy Bottom, they should have drowned that guy years ago. Like oh ho, I caused millions of dollars in damage, but I’ll see you next week, silly mayor.

    Additional votes for when they are right beside an issue, but they all go to the tower before going back to the same place. That’s 2 extra minutes we don’t have to put into the plot. I may have watched this show too much…..

    1. metsdaddy says:

      We all have

  11. Shelbi says:

    Lmao I love this ????

  12. heyitscolonoscopy says:

    This is very twisted, like a Twizzler

    1. metsdaddy says:

      Yes, when you take a step back, you realize this is a very twisted show.

  13. Rob says:

    Meanwhile in South park…

    Idiot.

  14. Nojomi says:

    I actually love the Paw Patrol. This article still totally made my day. Even with all the plot holes, it’s a show for children. But, you brought some extremely valuable points out. Thanks again.
    (I still love Paw Patrol)

    1. metsdaddy says:

      Thank you for getting it

  15. Jayne says:

    Indeed i autually think theres other shows for kids that are really good if not better
    Sofia the first is greatly underestimated but it’s a really good show for kids i think Sofia is a good remodel for kids since dora the explorer
    There’s alot of reasons why i like Sofia the first
    And besides popatroll seems like a knock off of fireman sam
    Except its puppies saving the day
    Which dose happen when they are adaults and go through training but no these are clearly Puppies
    and not autual trained humans

  16. skullfker says:

    Paw patrol is all in ryders head… every character is a fragmented personality. either that or this is ryder playing with his “imagination”. so every episode is just ryder being let out the backyard to play paw patrol and instead of seeing the reality we get the cartoon fantasy version of his imagination. while I could care less for kids shows, I cannot stand this one…. I just think they should of made it to where the characters where a little more independent and smart… as it stands now almost everyone is a complete moron except ryder. I mean literally these pups know how to do their jobs that they are classified in yet they always ask ryder what to do because for the life of them they cant figure out how to lift that stump until he tells them to… but they can drive their machines and talk…. abstract thought is invisible here… i also cant stand all the stupid catch phrases… its like the worst commercial given to you over and over and over and over and over… get it? i also don’t like how it paints the child as knowing it all and the adults as incompetent bumbling retards… ryder has control of the pups so let him help but they could make the adults’ competent and make the emergencies actual emergencies… also that stupid chicken has to go… that mayors shrill voice is enough to make you stab your ear drums with a spoon until deaf… also the other mayor with the cats… he’s an absolute moron and obviously a selfish prick yet they always help him and even give him stuff no matter what he does… at what point do you just keep giving into someone and letting them go on to do bad stuff? why doesn’t the cop dog put him in jail for an episode!? there should be consequences for your actions and this show doesn’t teach that… its honestly some leftist garbage about how everyone deserves a chanced at redemption and a reward even if they try to kill everyone by doing something stupid….. its BS. I know its a kid show but come on! its not teaching anything except mind-numbing entertainment that helps you pass time so you can grow up and die.. no intellectual value here…. its the same as “the Kardashians” mindless stupidity to watch and fill the time… my verdict is… its a worthless show only made to get kids parents to buy merch, and pass time, no intellectual value here….

    1. metsdaddy says:

      This all being a figment of Ryder’s imagination is an interesting theory with a lot of merit

  17. DIO BRANDO says:

    Im 17 and my lil cousins are watching earlier, i dont really care about the show, until i noticed how stupid ryder is for summoning all his dogs whenever he wants (even if they are sleeping), and would only choose 2 dogs and just let the others stay in their tower. I feel sad for the dog who was sleeping. I was just curious if other people saw how stupid ryder was, i didnt expect to find these debates on the comments lmao.

  18. Tamara Chambless says:

    I want to know where Ryder’s parents are. And they must be multi billionaires bc Ryder always has the most expensive gear. Even his ATV is the same color as the lead car. He has different color ATVs just to match. And I am so sick of the catch phrases and that stupid chicken. Thankfully this is better than watching Baby Bum, which was educational for my child and painful for me. So there’s that.

  19. Revers says:

    One has to also question the logic in picking puppies for the job. Dogs remain as pups for a very limited time. A German shepherd like Chase would surely only fit the bill for a period of 3 months before having to be replaced by a new dog. What happens to these “discarded” dogs? Marshall’s size would suggest he is the oldest (although his incessant clumsiness essentially makes him a constant liability. Darker dogs like Rocky and Zuma are not social media friendly as it’s harder to take pictures of them, making them harder to adopt. Female dogs are generally more popular for adoption, so Skye would likely be fine if… however, it does explain why Rider can acquire such a large amount of male dogs for his operation (around 32 doesn’t dogs a year, discarded to adoption after 3 months). The zapping and mind control mentioned in the original article renders this feasible, but it is a dystopian throw-away culture in which life only has value whilst aesthetically pleasing to the elite (in this case Ryder).

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