In his Medium article, Ryan Holiday writes about how the eternal search for quality time leads to disappointment. In reality, it’s that search which not only builds up these moments to live up to impossible lofty expectations, but it also has you missing the everyday magic.
It is an article well worth the time. In it, he discusses Jerry Seinfeld’s love of the mundane and how Holiday has loved his time just waiting.
Reading it brought me back to different moments. There are those times I’m driving in my car, and my son innocently begins a conversation by saying, “Daddy?” in that one tone where I know he has something important he wants to say.
It’s those moments my youngest just randomly starts singing a song and gets all excited when you start singing with him.
Honestly, Holiday is right. With your family, the best things happen everyday, and the moments don’t need to be manufactured. They’re already there, and they’re coming when you least expect it.
For example, yesterday, I was making macaroni and cheese for lunch. Next thing I know, my oldest wants to help. So while the pasta is boiling, I have him measuring out the milk and butter.
As is usually the case, when my oldest is doing something, the youngest needs to do it too. Suddenly, after I drain the pasta, the two of them, not me, are stirring the ingredients together.
This was a completely organic moment which happened for no other reason than the family was spending time together. To me, this was Holiday’s point. From the seemingly mundane came the real magic.
Six years ago, I was up for literally awake for 21 hours straight, and I was scared out of my mind as I rushed to the NICU. In short order, I went from the most scared I’ve ever been to the happiest I’ve ever been.
In those moments, I never knew you’d throw out a first pitch at a baseball game. You’d be playing in a hockey tournament, or that you’d have the highest test scores of anyone in town.
To my buddy, the smartest, most handsome, warmest, nicest,and special person I know, Happy Birthday!
Since my son was old enough to play recreational sports, I have either coached or helped coach some of his teams. Those sports have included soccer, t-ball, and flag football. Due to a number of circumstances, including soccer being year round in my town, I have had the most experience coaching soccer.
There are many challenges to coaching youth sports, but personally, I have found the biggest challenge to be just how to handle children of vary skills and interest. That applies not just to games but also to practice.
When it comes to my town, there were services available where they had some coaches from organizations attend your practice to show useful coaching strategies. I had adapted some of those drills while ignoring those I felt were not useful. Overall, I had initially followed the strategy of one game plan for everyone.
I’ve come to realize that doesn’t work.
Like many coaches, I had tried to balance the lineups to ensure as good a game as possible. There was one game where I realized this was a big mistake. My son had stolen a ball, and he went up field to score what was his 12th goal of the game.
By around his fourth goal, I had called him over to say to him he needs to be passing the ball more and incorporating his teammates. The problem was there were really no teammates for him to pass the ball.
While he was charging up the field with the ball, there was one kid who decided on his own he needed a break, so he walked off the field to sit down. Two of his other teammates were engaged in an epic leaf throwing fight. Finally, the last teammate was honestly just afraid of the ball.
This isn’t good for anyone. The kid afraid of the ball doesn’t have to engage because he knows there is going to be another player to take care of it. The kids having the leaf fight don’t need to pay attention because there is a savior. While that is happening, my son is basically playing by himself learning little to nothing about teamwork.
After that game, I developed A and B squads for the team. Essentially, I’ve split up players based on ability.
Admittedly, this was at first a disaster. In the first game, the “A” squad ran up the score on the opponent, while the “B” squad completely squandered away the lead and then some. This led to frustrated parents for both teams. That’s the worst possible scenario.
To mitigate against that, I have taken the time to reach out to the coach my team is going to face prior to the scheduled game. I inform him or her of the strategy I will be implementing. While some do not at all agree, they eventually acquiesce because they want to see a good game and not a completely one-sided affair.
That’s what happens. A good game. In fact, it is a much better game.
With the better players on the field, there is a higher level of play. At the Kindergarten level, I’ve since seen more team oriented play both in terms of defense and offense. There is passing, and partially because these kids play with each other more, there is actually communication on the field.
As for the B squad, something exciting began to happen. With them only playing against players with a similar skill set, they have had more of an opportunity to play competitively. With that, the leaf fights have drastically reduced, and the players who walked off the field out of boredom are now more engaged. They actually have a chance to touch the ball. In fact, players who would not have previously touched a ball would actually score a goal.
That has brought about a greater sense of both interest and pride in these children. With that has come some real improvement.
The splitting up of these players is something I have carried into practice. Now, the key there is to not necessarily let the children know they are being split up based upon ability.
For example, during passing drills, children of similar abilities are paired together. During those drills, the very basics are instilled on the players with a lower skill set. With the players who are better, I have them focus on using their not dominant foot. As a result, while everyone is doing everything as a team, they are still getting the more focused attention to help them improve as soccer players.
This can be carried out in all aspects of the practice.
Instead of scrimmages, smaller team games are preferable. Have 1-on-1 and 2-on-2 games. You can also have scrimmages happening simultaneously. Split your A squad in half and have them play against one another while having your B squad playing against each other.
In the end, it is important to remember part of coaching is helping everyone on your team improve. For your best players, dominating bad players isn’t helping them at all. For your worst players, never getting to touch the ball not only doesn’t help them, but it also serves to help them lose interest in the sport.
In the end, this is not a cure-all, and it is not perfect. Some children are never going to have interest in a particular sport, and there are some who have attention issues. You’re not going to resolve that over a two month season. There are also going to be times where you only have so many players show up to a game thereby blowing up your plan completely.
However, what this will do is permit you to foster an environment where everyone can improve on their game while also giving everyone an opportunity to play in a competitive game where they have a chance to make a real impact on a game. This will leave them feeling good about themselves and wanting to play more, which at the end of the day, is the primary objective for anyone coaching children.
Everywhere you look, there are guides to how parents can best prepare their children to attend Kindergarten. Like most of those things, most of them are grossly incomplete, and they lack the nuance of how children are individuals with different needs. What is interesting about each of these reads is they focus on what parents need to do for their children, but very few of them focus on what parents need to do for themselves.
The long story short is you should do what you think is best as a parent.
Honestly, the best thing you can do is to do all the things you think is best to prepare your child. The more you feel you prepared your child for Kindergarten, it is very likely the better you will feel. From my family’s perspective, that meant a year (plus) of planning.
We found a pre-school which prepared our child very well academically. In our case, I can saw he was a little too prepared academically leaving us scrambling at the last minute to see if there was a school better suited to his academic needs. At least in our area, there really wasn’t, especially when we balanced the other non-academic needs of our child.
I can say that experience did give us the benefit of being more secure in our original decision. The moral of the story here is do whatever you can to make yourself as secure as you possibly can in your decisions. At least personally, when I know I have made the best possible and informed decisions, I feel more comfortable.
The next thing we did is we looked at our town, and we found as many recreational sports as we could find. In the Spring, we signed our son up for t-ball and soccer. This put him in a position to have to meet new children in an unfamiliar situation to make new friends.
As an aside, our hope was he would be in a class with some of those kids and friends. Unfortunately, my son would not be in a class with any of those children. That said, he is on the playground with those children at recess, so he does have the opportunity to play with them. Knowing he has that level of comfort did help prepare us emotionally.
Beyond that, we did a lot to try to prepare our child and ourselves. This involved going well beyond simple triple checking. Each one of these things helped us feel more comfortable and ready. All of that helped us until Labor Day. There is nothing that can prepare you for the next day . . . the day you put your child on the bus to go to their first day.
To put it in perspective, my son had been in day care when he was nine months old. I was more than accustomed to dropping him off. However, with day care and pre-school, you have apps and updates with fun pictures and the like. You could call at a moment’s notice to find out how he’s doing. If you child was having a bad day, you could pick him up early without explanation, or when needed, you could keep him home on those days he needs it. If needed, you could just switch your child to another location without a moment’s notice.
While many of these things remain true (except the app updates with photos), Kindergarten is just different, and you know it as a parent. It kept me up all night. I remember getting out of bed at 1:30 to make waffles to make sure my son had one of his favorite breakfasts ready for his first day. It was either doing that or sheer exhaustion which helped me fall asleep.
In any event, my son hopped on the bus without incident. He flashed us a smile, and he waved to us as the bus pulled away. Being the completely sane individual I am, I rushed back to my car, and I followed the school bus to the school and made sure he got off the bus and into the school all right.
After that, it was time to go stir crazy not knowing how he was doing or what they were doing. It doesn’t matter where you will be. You will feel that as well. Just find the best way to distract yourself. That could be work, or doing something else. For my family, that meant taking our youngest to the zoo and having a fun day with him as we counted the minutes until the school day ended.
The long and short of it is we survived the day. Our son handled the day well, certainly much better than we did. I can also say the ensuing days were increasingly better. As we put him on the school bus this morning, it already felt like routine.
Ultimately, that’s the best thing to tell parents. Wait it out until it becomes routine because it will. When you look back, you will laugh at yourself for how much wasted energy you had over the ordeal, especially when you see how much better your child responds to it all than you did.
For those people who have been places with children and have had someone in the family needing to use the bathoom, former Major Leaguer Preston Wilson said what finally needed to be said:
I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you aren’t traveling with children don’t use the family bathrooms in airports. It makes you a bad person.
— Preston Wilson (@PrestonWilson44) August 19, 2019
This reminded me of an “incident” I recently had at Citi Field. To be fair, to call it an incident is probably overstating the case, but as a parent, I did assert my rights to use the designated family restroom with a family.
To put things in perspective, I have over an hour drive to get to the ballpark. After that, there is the process of putting sunscreen on the kids and then waiting on lines to enter the ballpark. After going up the escalator, the first thing my five year old tells me is he has to go to the bathroom. Honestly, at that point, who doesn’t?
In addition to my son having to use the bathroom, I have to change a baby’s diaper. That’s now two people who have to use the bathroom and a toddler who needs his diaper changed. This is the EXACT scenario why family restrooms exist. Of course, based on my personal experience, I have yet to come across a vacant family restroom at Citi Field.
That was until a few weeks ago. In this particular moment, the heaven’s seemed to open, and someone departed the family restroom just as I was walking towards it. With the family in tow, I made my way in as a group of adults stopped to alert me there was a line.
Again, a group of adults. No children in sight. They wanted to stop a family from using the . . . wait for it . . . family restroom.
With myself standing in the door frame, I politely asked if they had children who needed to use the restroom or had a baby who needed a diaper change. When they predictably said they didn’t, I told them they could wait and closed the door.
What is beyond stupid was there needed to be this exchange. It’s one thing to use the family restroom when no one is present. However, for the life of me, I cannot fathom the level of self entitlement involved in telling a family they need to wait so an adult can use a bathroom not designated for them.
These bathroms exist so parents can use the bathroom while keeping their children in a confined space where they don’t have to worry about them. These bathrooms exist to provide families with the space and privacy needed. They exist because if a child has an accident, you can change your child without them having to stand stark naked in the middle of a men’s or women’s room. It allows you to take care of multiple children at the same time without commotion.
These bathrooms are not for adults who like to do number two in a less used bathroom. They’re not there for adults convenience. These bathrooms aren’t for the public at large. They’re for people who actually need them. This is why Preston Wilson is 100% right saying those who use them are bad people.
Last Saturday was the loudest I’ve ever experienced Citi Field. With how loud the crowd was, it was honestly forcing me to make a choice. Considering I was at the game with my 19 month old, the noise level put me in a very difficult position. As big a game as that was no game is big enough to expose a child to that level of noise especially since there is evidence exposing children to that level of noise can create hearing loss.
The options available were to just watch the game from one of the suites my ticket afforded me access. There are issues with that especially since seating is limited, and on a more selfish note, you don’t get to have the full fan experience. If push comes to shove, you go to the suite, but at the same point, you really can only spend so much time there before you have to leave.
Of course, leaving the game was a possibility. However, I also had a five year old with me who was really excited for the game. Again, if push comes to shove, you don’t endanger one child for the other. However, if there was another solution, you find it just so you don’t have to upset your child (or effectively throwing away hundreds of dollars).
That left the best recourse being available being finding noise cancelling headphones. Now, if you go to the Citi Field Information Guide, there is ZERO information on how to obtain them. With this being the Mets, that initially left me wondering if there were ones for sale. I tried the Mets Dugout Shop for Kids (by Section 105), and I tried the Mets Team Store, but they did not sell them.
After that, I tried Fan Assistance. I was actually directed to a number of different places with some people surmising there may be earplugs available in one area. That was definitely not an option. Some recommended the Nurses’ Station, but that was just a guess. Undeterred, I walked through the ballpark until I found someone who finally knew what they were talking about and where to get them.
Finally, I had my answer. For those who are already annoyed on how this is like one of those recipe posts where you don’t care about the nonsense background, here is the information you need.
From the perspective of your entering the ballpark from the Jackie Robinson Rotunda, there is a Rotunda Ticket Services Office in the back left corner. When you enter, you have to fill out a form, and you will be given a “Sensory Bag” which includes fidget toys, noise-cancelling headphones, weighted lap pads, and other sensory resources. Be forewarned, they will hold your driver’s license or other form of ID until you return the bag.
The noise cancelling headphones will fit your toddler’s head, and they will fit an adult’s head. They are adjustable. Being the parent I am, I first tried them on myself. They were uncomfortable, but they did really mute the surrounding noise. To that effect, they were quite effective.
HOWEVER, they are uncomfortable for toddlers. I spent most of the time trying to keep them on my child’s head. I spent much of the time being strategic with them taking them off of his head between innings to give him a break. I also made sure to walk around the ballpark a bit more, which honestly, is always the case when you bring a toddler to a game.
As noted, these are only for rent, and you need to return them to get your driver’s license back. Note, you do not return them to the Rotunda Ticket Services Office. Instead, you return them to the Lost and Found, which is located right next door. That office is only open for a half hour after the final out, so don’t delay.
For parents with small children or those in need of the sensory bags, I hope this information is helpful. For the Mets, this should serve as a lesson your ballpark staff needs to be better informed, and this information needs to be more easily accessible on your website because when I was in the ballpark, I had no idea nor should I have automatically known the information would have been attained by clicking on the Citi Field Accessibility Guide.
Grant Paulsen of The Athletic reported the Washington Nationals are now offering free kid’s meals at games to children 12 years old and younger. According to the Nationals website this is a limited time offer from July 22 – September 2.
In order to obtain the free kid’s meal, parents have to go to Nationals.com and go through a free but tedious process. First, you have to link your MLB account to the Nationals Red Carpet Rewards Program. Once you have done that, you then have to register your children for their Nationals Kids Club. Once you have jumped through all of the hoops, the ticket for the kids meal will be available on the MLB Ballpark App.
The kids meal is actually a sufficient meal, especially for younger children. You receive a hot dog with your choice of chips or applesauce and a choice of water or a soda. According to the Nationals, that’s a $17 value. So, if you are bringing a couple of kids to the game, that’s $34 dollars in your pocket.
As a Mets fan, it will be interesting to see if the Mets follow suit here. It should be noted that while the Nationals’ Kids Club is free, the Mets isn’t. That costs either $35 or $55 depending on the level you select. Of course, the Mets Kids Club, or Mr. Met Club does come with “complimentary tickets.” Still, if the Mets can follow the Nationals lead on an inane backpack policy, they should be able to do so here when it comes to making it more affordable to bring kids to the ballpark.
On the last game before the All Star Break, I brought my son to the Mr. Met Dash. Once we got onto the field, he had the time of his life, and honestly, he has not stopped talking about it. He loved everything about the dash once he got onto the field. The key here being once we got onto the field.
Leading up until that point, it was exhausting for him and for me.
It was a hot and muggy day with the ballpark flooded with people due to it being Spiderman Bobblehead Day. There were lines all over the ballpark to get food and to hit the baseball behind center field. The Phillies were dominating the Mets. All-in-all, it was a pretty frustrating day at the ballpark.
Still, getting on the basepaths to run on the same field as the Mets players made it all worthwhile. A week later, and my son is still talking about how he ran the basepaths. Seeing his excitement, it is something I will consider doing again in the near future. Next time, I plan on doing it better. There are some ways.
First and foremost, if you belong to the Mr. Met Club, you get priority access. The members of the Mr. Mets Club get to run the bases before those who are not members. This along with four complimentary tickets to a Mets and Cyclones game along with other perks. The cost of the membership is $35 or $55 depending on the level of membership you purchase.
In terms of value, not having to wait in that line, the trinkets, and the tickets are probably well worth the money. Of course, the issue I had in the past was remembering to bring the lanyard with me to the games to get some of the perks. Also, in year’s past the tickets were for weekday games which are difficult to attend. So in the end, it’s not for everyone.
If you don’t want to spend the money on the Mr. Met Club, there is still another way to get priority access. Before the game, Citi Perks sets up a table atop the escalators above the Jackie Robinson Rotunda. If you have a Citi card (or ask nicely enough), they will give you a pass to get priority access.
Even with the priority access, the lines are LONG. For example, the lines of just the Mr. Met Club members and Citi Perks ticket holders stretched from the bullpen area to the parking lot on Seaver Way. If you want to get to the front of that line, you are going to have to leave during the game.
To get to the front of that line, you are going to have to leave around the seventh inning stretch. The downside is you’re missing the rest of the game and have to wait around for the game to end. In a game the Mets are losing 8-3, that’s not as big of a deal. If it’s a close game or the Mets are winning, it’s a completely different story. In the end, it really is a matter of just how much you want to get on that line and back to your car to get home.
Two other important factors. First, carry some cash on you. If it’s a hot day like it was on Sunday, you’re going to be dying of thirst after running the bases. When you exit the ballpark after running the bases, there is a vendor there selling soda and water (at ballpark prices). He accepted cash only when I was there.
Second, there is not re-admittance into the ballpark. For some reason, that also includes the team store. Accordingly, if you want to get your kid a souvenir, you need to get it before heading on line for the Mr. Met Dash. It’s a small lesson I learned as my son wanted to get his Pete Alonso All-Star shirt.
All that considered, even if you don’t have priority access, doing the Mr. Met Dash is well worth it. Even though they try to usher you off the field once you touch home plate, you will have a moment or two to take a picture with your kid on the field. There are plenty of families there who want family photos are will be amenable to the normal swap of taking family photos.
There’s one other thing people won’t tell you. No one is checking your ticket before you get in line or get on the field. Accordingly, if you are so inclined and are in the neighborhood, you can just hop on the line and have your child run the bases without even attending the game. Just a thought.
Yesterday, I went back home to celebrate my dad’s birthday. On the long drive, my oldest was just whining about how hungry he was.
When I got into town, we passed by the old pizza place we practically lived in growing up. This was always the stop for the kids in the neighborhood.
We’d ride our bikes there after school. After Little League games, we’d stop there for Italian Ice’s. I swear people in the neighborhood went there at least three or four days a week. It was more when it had Street Fighter and NBA Jam video games.
For about the first time in 15 years, i walked into that pizza place. With a beard and five year old by my side, I was a completely different person than the one who used to frequent that place.
As soon as I walk in, the owner exclaimed, “Holy sh–! How ya doin’?”
I honestly couldn’t believe he remembered me after all these years. I really couldn’t believe him when he told me I hadn’t changed a bit. We then walked down memory lane talking about our shared memories of the place.
My son watched with amazement taking in and enjoying everything. That’s when the owner noticed him.
He laughed when my son told him his name saying, “Of course, he’s the fourth.” He then laughed harder when my son told his favorite team was the Mets. It was met with, “Let me tell you, kid. No one loved the Mets as much as your dad. Stick with them.”
Then he offered my kid a rainbow Italian Ice.
He told my son about how my friends and I would get one after every game. In disbelief, my son said, “Really? My Daddy never eats ice.” This caused the owner to laugh and say that maybe I have changed.
On the way out, he shook my hand telling me not to be a stranger while telling me to say hi to my parents and to wish them well.
As I left with, pizzas in hand, I looked down at my son eating the rainbow ice, and it brought me back to those times I walked out of that pizza place with my own father. My son was bemused with stories of my childhood.
It was as good and nice a moment as you can experience. It’s only one you can experience if you not only go home but go around your hometown.
In Houston, Albert Almora ripped a line drive foul into the stands. As Almora would say, “As soon as I hit it, the first person I locked eyes on was her.” This meant he watched the whole way as his line drive hit a little four year old girl.
An understandably devastated Almora was crushed and began weeping on the field.
This incident led to calls for more netting at ballparks. For example, Jeff Passan of ESPN called for netting to be extended from foul pole to foul pole. In his article, he played up the scene saying:
Look at the entire scene, ugly and awful and entirely preventable, and then tell me Major League Baseball teams don’t need to extend protective netting from foul pole to foul pole. It’s time. It’s well past time, actually. There is no argument against this, no humane argument at least, not when this keeps happening again and again and again and again and again — and children wind up in the hospital, where the girl was taken following the incident, according to the Astros.
Passan was far from the only person to go to these lengths both in terms of the netting needed and using the incident to prove the point.
Certainly, you could understand the calls. CBS reported Almora hit the ball at least 90 MPH meaning that little girl had about 1.2 seconds to respond. There’s no four year old capable enough of getting out of the way of that ball.
If we’re being honest, it’s unrealistic for a parent to get in the way. If you’ve ever been to a game with a child that young, they’re constantly distracted, and as a result, they’re distracting you. When balls are hit that hard, even one slight distraction means you’re defenseless.
As noted by Andrew Marchand of the NY Post, this danger is the reason why players will sit their children behind netting to ensure they are safe during the games.
Yes, you could argue netting all the way around the stadium protects children. You could also argue the netting is deemed a nuisance to fans for a few reasons including ability to watch a game, catch a foul ball, or get an autograph. Considering how MLB is purportedly concerned about attendance, you could understand why they wouldn’t want to detract from the experience of attending a game.
People want to dismiss the later as being irrelevant when it comes to children’s safety. To an extent, they’re right. No child should be injured because someone wants to catch a fly ball. That said, we need to stop pretending wrapping the ballpark in netting is the only solution.
Let’s face facts for a second. No child should be sitting that close. As noted by everyone, it’s a danger to their health. So, let’s call this what it is – a parenting failure.
A parent needed to understand this was not a safe situation for their child. They needed to get seats literally anywhere else in the ballpark. Considering how much those seats cost, they could afford it. If they didn’t realize how close the seats were, an usher/team would’ve been happy to help them relocate to a safer situation.
This is akin to driving to the park and not having your child in a car seat. Sure, chances are really good you won’t ever need that car seat. Even if you do get into an accident like a fender bender, your child could be fine even without the car seats. Then, there’s that accident where having a car seat or not is the difference between life and death or at least the difference between serious injury and no long term harm.
That situation is why we have car seat laws. It’s the reason why we have a bevy of other laws to protect child from absent minded or even bad parenting. These laws include but are not limited to car seat laws, bicycle helmet laws, and required fencing around pools.
Because of absent minded or bad parenting, we have laws designed to protect children and put them in safer situations. Why isn’t this done at ballparks?
Up until the point there’s netting, there’s should be rules (or laws) which restrict where children can sit. Don’t permit a parent to again bring a child that close to the action. Don’t allow a parent to put a child in jeopardy.
Let the adults assume the risks they choose. If they want to be that close to the action without netting, let them. It’s 2019. They should be well aware of the risks by now, and if they’re not, there’s plenty of ballpark announcements alerting them to the fact. Just don’t let an adult taking what is an extremely reasonable risk for them allow them to potentially put a child in harm’s way.
When purchasing the tickets online, there needs to be a prompt advising of the age restrictions for that seating area. If it can be done if you want to leave just one seat open between the seats you purchase, it can be done for this. If you’re calling or buying the tickets in person, the ticket agent needs to read off the rule.
If someone buys the tickets anyway, the usher needs to serve as the barrier of entry. If the ushers can do it in the later innings of a game stopping people from moving down from the upper levels to the field level, they can do it before the game.
Remember, there’s no good reason why a child NEEDS to sit that close to the action. There are literally tens of thousands of places to watch a game from a ballpark. They can sit in one of those seats.
If you boil it down, this is the best way to accomplish allowing fans to have the unfettered view and access they want with protecting children. At the end of the day, we should allow the adults to take the risks they openly want while protecting children from forgetful or negligent parenting.
Impose an age restriction.