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Scrubs: My Disasterous 2017 Mets Season

In the end, this Mets season was just one large Scrubs season.  It wasn’t quite a comedy.  It wasn’t quite a drama.  Not nearly enough people should have appreciated it.  And, oh yeah, the players resembled the characters:

J.D. – Michael Conforto

There are many ways we can choose to compare the two with how they are treated by authority figures and seem to be dreamers.  Overall, it’s the Janitor who shows how the two are unmistakably intertwined:

Turk – Noah Syndergaard

Like Turk, Syndergaard can be both silly (his hatred of Mr. Met), had their bromances that ended when their bff departed (Bartolo Colon), and are serious about their craft (60′ 6″ away).  Both had serious health issues (Turk – diabetes; Thor – torn lat), that they largely ignored until they could no longer.

Dr. Cox – Sandy Alderson

Both are brash, saracastic, and quick witted.  They want everyone to conform, leave them alone, and they want the higher ups to give them the revenue they need to do their jobs because secretly they care.   Both have to deal with the hand they are given and do better than possibly anyone else would in their position.

Elliott – Jacob deGrom

The precocious blonde with long locks has gone from being overlooked to front and center.  Now, after a drastic haircut, we see them all grown up and in charge

Carla – Curtis Granderson

For much of the show, Carla was really the only adult in the room.  She was the one who was a parent and a friend to everyone.  There was no Met who has ever embodied that better than Granderson.

Kelso – Fred Wilpon

He’s the penny pinching curmudgeon who deep down believes he cares about the place more than anyone.  As time goes on, and they become more separated from the day-t0-day affairs, they become more likeable as newer villains begin to run interference.  In reality, they haven’t changed one bit.  Just ask Enid.

Janitor – Asdrubal Cabrera

He was once a guy with dreams and wanted to be someone.  Instead, he’s stuck around this place finding himself not wanting to be fired despite not being good at his job and terrifying everyone.  Oh, and now he needs this job to provide for his family.

The Todd – Yoenis Cespedes

Both seem like all flash and no substance with high fives, bat flips, cars, banana hammocks, chains, and compression sleeves.  However, once you get past all of that and look at their abilities, they are among the best at what they do.

Ted – Travis d’Arnaud

There was probably a time where dear old Ted had the world as his oyster much like d’Arnaud did when he first joined the Mets organization.  At this point both are beaten down and quite possibly both are forever broken.  In d’Arnaud’s case that’s probably more physical than spiritual.

Jordan – Terry Collins

As we found out in Marc Carig’s piece about Collins’ firing, the manager had contempt for most everyone around him except for a small few he treated kindly.  Of course to him that meant hurting them (ruining their arms).  That’s Jordan in a nutshell – hates almost everyone and is still nasty to those she likes.

Murphy – Ray Ramirez

They want to help, but they just keep killing everyone in their path.  Like with Dr. Murphy, the Mets have finally found a place where he could do less harm.

Keith Dudemeister – Lucas Duda

Aside from the fact that their surnames practically beg for the comparison, both seem like people we could have all been friends with under completely different circumstances.

Laverne – Jose Reyes

Just when you thought they were dead and gone, they’ve come back.  For Laverne, she came back under a different name.  For Reyes, it was a different position.

Enid – David Wright

Both were quite loved in their day, but now they are broken down and our eyes look elsewhere for something younger and sexier to take their place.

Sean – Kevin Plawecki

They seem like perfectly nice guys who try hard. In the end no matter what they do, no matter how good it is, it elicts the same response.  “Nobody cares!”

Bearfacé – Chasen Bradford

Of all the Mets, Bradford was the only Mets player who put together a beard that could come close to Beardface.

Extra points to Bradford for Baseball Reference not quite knowing if it’s Chase or Chasen similar to how Dr. Beardface constantly corrects everyone screaming it’s BEARD-FAS-AY!

Hooch –Hansel Robles

When Robles points to the sky as if to suggest a home run is just a pop fly, you know Robles is crazy.  Like Hooch, the craziness was comical at first, but now it is just downright scary.

Lloyd – Jeff Wilpon

He’s got the job because of who his father is, and someone he has a place on the Brain Trust.

Dr. Wen – Dan Warthen

They were tutors for a young talented group, but in the end, their time came as they refused to adapt.  For Warthen, it was teaching a slider when everyone was focusing on the curve.  For Dr. Wen, it was:

Ben – Neil Walker

He came here sick, and the Mets just couldn’t fix him no matter what they did.  Before we knew it, he was gone, and we were all looking for someone to blame.

Dan – Jay Bruce

When he first appeared, he was useless, and yet, somehow people seemed to love him.  He was an older brother that tried to take people under his wing, but he, himself, was the one who needed help.  Eventually, he got himself together just before we all said good bye to him.

Leonard – Seth Lugo

It’s the giant hook and the impressive hair (afro, blonde).

Julie – Wilmer Flores

Both are young, lovable, and so accident prone.  In the entire Scrubs series, the only way capable of breaking their own nose the way Wilmer did was Julie.

Jill – Matt Harvey

We all just assumed the worst in their intentions.  However, in the end, we discovered it wasn’t anything they did particularly wrong.  Rather, it was a problem related to something else entirely that if someone detected it earlier, everything might have changed.  Instead, a waste of a 2017 ensued.

Gift Shop GirlCarlos Beltran

We had our chance with him, but we blew it.  We forgot about him for a long time, but now that we remember him, he’s now got a ring on his finger.

Paige – Brandon Nimmo

Both are extremely religious, and you cannot wipe the smile off of either one’s face . . . no matter how much you try.

Mickhead – Barwis

We all know Barwis murdered the Mets season.  We just don’t have the proof.

3 thoughts on “Scrubs: My Disasterous 2017 Mets Season”

  1. Gothamist says:

    I am very careful ever criticizing Sandy Alderson.

    Too few quality draftees : Was it the investment in scouting, how many global offices do the Mets have, how much do they pay for their scouts, are the scouts being monitored by quality, high cost supervision within a high enough player development budget? What is on Sandy and what is on Jeff Wilpon? What is on just six years and how many years to go to spend and or get it right…

    WAS SANDY EVER IN CHARGE COMPLETELY OVER TRAINERS AND PLAYER DEVELOPMENT AND IS HE NOW?

    I met Met employees, they say Sandy is antiarrogant, anti insensitive, an anti bully, tempered, humble, modest, kind and approachable…

    I may say he may be forced to get the max on trades where no one wants to deal with him on marquis players, every trade, the very few are under the microscope, he did not want to trade Fulmer, that getting value for Wilmer and Wheeler was dead on vs dealing Fulmer and that great Beltran for Wheeler trade has required exhaustive patience will minimal results and once he preforms Wheeler might be in his walk year and gone in a flash anyway…

    The problem is ownership and the changes so far illuminate that 2017 was not a surprise.

    NOT TO BOAST, I HAVE MY OWN EMAILS THAT STATE BY APRIL 10th that 2017 was going to be an empty year of huge disappointment. Bullpen, team speed and table setters. THE INABILITY TO RATTLE ANY STARTER ON CRUISE CONTROL.

    JUST THE WAY THE NATS DOMINATED THE METS DOWN TO EVERY PITCH AND SWING BY AA PROSPECTS IN SPRING TRAINING SPOKE VOLUMES ABOUT TERRY’s APPROACH, MOTIVATIONAL SKILL, COMMAND OVER VETERANS, THIRST, PASSION, DRIVE AND KILLER INSTINCT… THAT ALONE WAS SHOCKING..

    SHOCKING THAT WHEN THE METS NEEDED TO REACH DOWN TERRY HAD LITTLE COMMAND OUTSIDE OF HIS THREATS IN LATE SUMMER 2016 TO BENCH THE STARTERS.

    Collins was laying no foundation to deal with doubt or adversity well begore April.

  2. Five Tool Ownership says:

    are you saying one star ownership?

  3. Five Tool Ownership says:

    In Sandy we trust….!

    I will not piss him off, who wants to start over in NYC metro tristate?
    Not everyone…
    Second tier and third tier player development staff?

    Triple taxes…
    Short supply of rentals, two bedrooms well over $2,000 of net pay needing more than $36,000 of income to cover rent, utilities and garage not including car insurance, gas tolls…?

    Fred Wilpon has already established he lives in a bubble!!!!!!

    Hope for change, of Wilpons selling in Jeff’s lifetime, never!!!

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